I am a mother now

[Nambi]

Born from me,
hours of inexplicable pain,
just to turn over and see your big blue eyes,
looking back at me,
sayng,
Thankyou.

At least thats what I hope they say.
Because I just cursed
And swore
every bad word under the sun to get you.
and I DONT deserve you.

Then I sleep.
I try not to,
but I cant help but forget you.
Lids so heavy they cant be stopped.
Closed,
Out of order
Indisposed.
Nothing can stir it,
Except,
a tiny whince that escapes your
delicate,
soft,
flawless lips.

Perfection, dependence, unconditional love,
all incarcerated in a tiny being,
An innocence that comes with the total ignorance
that the world is a hard place to be in,
that life is dificult to maintain,
that money IS the root of all evil,
that as much as i love you,
You WILL make me cry,
You WILL make me sad,
You will run off with the first imbocile
that tells you he loves you.
And that sucks,
But im a mother now.

So I will shut it out,
and button my lips.
because your my resposibility,
my joy,
my laughter,
my proof that I am worth something,
that contrary to popular belief I am capable
that I AM A MOTHER NOW.